i forgot what day or month it was when i witnessed the epitome of hypocrisy. the boss himself. sooo ugly.

it was clearly a case of sexual harassment. im trying to remember from memory. i should have written it down right after it happened, but i probably was too dazed and shocked. too high in disgust. graveh!!!!!!

i was my boss's secretary at that time, and he at that time would bring me with him to meetings. we went to this meeting at a bank. that day was incidentally the birthday of the board president of one coop. the boss had went to the president's house to celebrate with him early on that day. the ugly boss smelt of alcohol when we went to the bank. i was so embarrassed of him, the bank personnel i think noticed his reeking of alcohol. and i think she felt sorry for me. she let us into the conference room. it was just the three of us in the room.
everytime the banker would go out of the room, the boss would start to chat me up.

boss: i like you.
me: okay.
boss: you know, we work closely together and in the future, we may be working even more close with each other, might spend some late nights doing work stuff. im not closing out the possibility that we might fall in love with each other.
me: (what the f***) i really dont think that'll happen.
boss: who knows? do you like me?
me: not the way you like me. i mean, youre probably an okay person but i dont have a thing for you or what.
boss: i like you. you are blah blah blah blah (all nice things you are)i just want to protect you from falling in love with me.
me: i will never fall in love with you. (why is he making this look like it's my fault?)
boss: i dont want that something will happen, like an affair between the two of us. if it happens, well it happens, but i have a wife..i have children that i love. my wife is selfish, i dont understand why she is very selfish. i want my daughter to grow up just like you. what are you looking for in a man.
me: (oh my god, please help me.) look first of all, you just insulted me and my family. i was brought up well by my parents, i would never have an affair with a guy like you. second, youre married, you have children, you shouldnt say bad things about your wife. third, youre not my type, youre fat. i dont like fat. i am very very sure, that i would never evver ever fall in love with you. please.
boss: okay good that it's clear. i will try to fight my feelings for you. i will stop. im just trying to protect you. you might fall in love with me.
me: (why does he make it look like it's my fault?) oh please. (youre that ugly, i have much better taste)

this was when i really started to hate my boss. he is such a preacher. as if he is a sinless man..but the truth is, he is ugly both outside and inside.

after the meeting, i felt very tired. i felt drained of all energy. i was shaking. i felt like crying out of frustration. i felt really bad.
i only stayed in this company (for almost a year and a half)because i wanted to have at least a one year work experience. i told my friend and officemate about it.
there was one time when he tried to kiss me. on the cheek. he succeeded, he tricked me. he asked me to look at something in the computer and i did, and he kissed me while i wasnt looking. i told him, to never do that again, i didnt like it, not at all. he laughed. and im like ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww. and actually i did say ewwww when his lips touched my cheek. (ugggghh*)

now im leaving the company..my last day is on june 3rd. i will finally be free. i will be released from this ugly boss. his preaching is never really a good sound to hear everyday. thank god for helping me. but i still do wish all of them well.

ive applied for a cabin crew position. im still waiting for their email. my co applicant, who was also my roommate said theyd send an email today telling us if we got hired or not. it's almost lunch time, no email yet. the wait is nerve wracking. i want this job so much. my quitting plans for my current job is in place already. i wish i will get this. well if its meant for me then it;s meant for me. please let it be meant for me!
my dilemma is how i can tell my boss that im quitting. i will need to give a two weeks notice, the least. company policy says 30 days but i dont have that much time. if i get the airline job, i'll have to fly out in 3 weeks. or else theyll tag me as an employee who went AWOL...then i wont get my certificate of employment, i will have bad feedback..theyll think that i backstabbed them. well.. for the airline job, i dont mind. i'll still go for it.
im feel soooo anxious.... ugh!

i felt nostalgic after reading some of my previous blog posts. sigh* it's been so long since the last time i was here. :) brings an awful lot of memories.
i managed to complete a full year working for just one company..yay!! i feel like i have commitment issues with work. i now have one year and 4 months of residency in this company. :D
but i have a plan. it's a genius plan. i will quit my job in april if i get accepted for that cabin crew position in Donah's company based in iceland. i dont mind if i get stationed in jeddah. i dont think i'll miss my family, i mean, there's internet. i can talk to them anytime. i think it will be good for me. flight attending sounds like an easy job, sounds fun too. and i feel that id do better as a flight attendant than as an accountant. im sure it would be an awful experience dealing with rude passengers but then dealing with numbers and just sitting in front of a computer all day was never really an experience that i fancied.
im ok with leaving my work behind, i think the company will be able to move on quickly without me. i dont mind leaving my boss behind, ive been hating him all this time, it would be good for me.
maybe i'll miss all of this just a little. but just a little. too irrelevant to even be considered.

i just had a beating from the boss. i deserve it though. i know that i havent been doing well at work and thought about improving myself. it's just bad timing you know. just when you were going to improve yourself, somebody else had to point it out to you and in some ways embarrass you. i dont blame him for it, i actually liked that he told me about my weaknesses at work. it was really cool.

from now on, i would be a dedicated worker. i would do the best that i can to improve and be an asset to this company. i would try to not be annoyed by the people in this office and just concentrate on being positive.

wow. and i may even stop using the internet during work hours...maybe just a little. improving doesnt happen overnight...it's gradual. so i'll gradually reduce internet use. i may experience withdrawal symptoms. but that's fine. this will all be for my own good and self improvement. =)

i know i have to follow rules and im trying. but they should have a little consideration. the bitch told me to file for undertime of 5 minutes! yes, i was late..but i was just a little late. just a tiny bit late. but still late. anyways. i went out for lunch with daniel and i came back 5 minutes late.
she is so incosiderate. instead of trying to help other employees she would do everything to put them down. especially me! hmmp, kato diayng sila ang na late. they were late before, it was over 30 minutes!!! how come they didnt file for undertime? the bitch and her bitch husband! theyre sooooooo makalagot.

pedantic...niall taught me about this word.

i could use that word a lot around here. really. feed the ego according to jewel.

i am not the type to kiss ass. which is why, i know i wont last in this company. i'll give it a year, then i'll start looking for other work. i'm just not comfortable seeing people falling all over their faces to impress people that i think are not worthy to be given so much attention.
last night, we went to one of the main offices. i got fed up with all the fuss about the office furnitures. (oh how lovely, the chairs are so beautiful, the tables are so neat, the floor etc etc) but the truth is, as i see it anyway, the tables look cheap, i mean they were bought at a high price, but they dont look expensive to me. the chairs are nice though, but i dont think it is worth 3,300 pesos each. they look cheaper than that to me. they say everything is so well arranged. it looked so neat. the computers have lcd monitors which is so high tech and modern looking. oh give me a break. the office was in chaos, i think. (well i havent really been there before last night, so the set up now is probably a big improvement from what it was before)but still...all the fuss...all the ass kissing comments.
i dont know how to make plastikan. i cannot say that the new tables look uber nice because i really think they dont. hayyy. too much politics in such a small place.

Today we (gilmark and i) are giving a blow out in the office because we were both "upgraded" to regular status from being probationary employees. Gilmark took care of the rice, crispy pata (yum!, pinakbet and drinks, while i brought in linarang (fish) and kinilaw (na fish still). I didnt really want to do this. I told my mother about it and she told me that I have to make "bangka" because it is expected by everybody. It's like a tradition. I didnt want to give a blow out because even if I am a regular employee now, my rate is still the same until the rate standardization will be approved by the gods of rural electrification.

My share of food has arrived and my co workers seem happy about it. I think my mother is right. It's a good decision after all even if I have to spend 1000 pesosesoses. If you feed people, they tend to be nicer towards you. I think so. It's the truth and my mother knows that. I will eat til I'm so full I can't think of work I'll just sit in front of my office laptop, stare at the different products at ebay.com and pretend like i'm in deep concentration working on excel files. I could do better than this.

i have not done anything important or challenging today.

i wish to stay in this job for at least a year. after one year im going to go find another job more suitable for me. i wanna join the amazing race. that'd be cool.